Moving Through

Wow...My kitchen floor looks really clean!  That's strange.

I've survived a huge setback in my optimism.  A big change happened a couple of months ago regarding our project, which was that a dear friend moved near me to support Amanda and I in this endeavor.  I found out a couple of days ago that she has decided not to stay.  My heart is broken, and I feel discouraged.  It was as though an angel came to shine her approval and light on Maitri, and now she has left to shine onto other things.  I am not bitter.  I will roll with this one too.

I keep saying to people (my mother-in-law, friends who know about our project, etc...) things like: "you know where we should take the kids today?  Let's go to that place with the cute store and the tea lounge, and the classes for kids.  I wonder if they have an open play date today...we can grab a coffee!"  It might be a cruel joke, but their eyes always light up when I start to describe this fantasy place, and they look at me with such hope.  "You know, Maitri!" I say. And they roll their eyes at me and say, 'Valerieeeee'.

Another mother suggested I leave a little review of products I like that support motherhood at the end of the posts.  Just in case any moms stumble upon this blog looking for tips.  Maybe there's a better way to do this, but I don't have time to figure it out right now.  I'm open to suggestions.  Here's my first review:

I'm not a fan of monitors.  I attachment parent.  In fact it's strange I would pick this first instead of a sling or an eco toy, but I was just appreciating my monitor tonight.  We have an upstairs now, and that is where I decided Darling Daughter (DD) #2 should nap. I bought the cheapest (at Target) baby monitor and it works just great.  It's called the Crystal Clear Monitor by Safety 1st.  I think it's interesting that a monitor, something which enables you to move far away from your baby while they sleep, is considered a safety item.  But we didn't bother with cribs, so for us it was essential.  Once she was crawling we had to be up the stairs fast, before she decided to venture off the bed without assistance.  (They quickly learn to go down on their own safely backwards...then it's the gate at the top of the stairs that's the safety item.)

Standing in front of my choices at Target, I didn't want to go up to the $75 range.  I'd have happily paid fifty bucks and felt solid in the middle range of quality and features but my only other choices in the store that day were the Crystal Clear for $24.95 or another one at $34.95.  The latter had a few extra buttons which I decided amounted to the same cheap quality for ten dollars more.  So I went with the bottom of the barrel, which is not usually my style.  It has been great.  It's almost crystal clear (much less white noise than I ever expected from even the pricier ones), and it is also extremely sensitive.  You can hear DD breathing.  I've even dropped it more than twice and it still works.  It never occurred to me to spend a fortune for video.  She's my second baby, I just need to know when she wakes up.  I don't need to actually see her sleeping.  I know from experience that if she's not making any noise, she's asleep. We didn't even have a monitor for DD #1.  We lived in a bungalo then and could hear her breathing in the next room without the electronics.  We'll definitely stock the Crystal Clear monitor in Maitri's store along with an overpriced video version for the grandparents that prefer to spare no expense.  If they ask me my opinion, I'll probably lose $250 in sales.

Here We Go

This photo is one of my favorites. I look relaxed and happy, the gleam of afternoon light dancing on my face. It came from a set of photos taken by my friend Razi, who shoots my promotional yoga photographs. In my best moments I look like this.

I am a yoga teacher and mother. I'm starting this blog because since becoming a mother I usually don't feel this relaxed and certainly don't look this thrilled to be alive or so well put together most of the time. I came up with an idea (I'm not claiming it's original.) to start a business that gives moms more opportunities to reclaim themselves ---both in identity, and personal growth. This idea has been percolating in my mind since I found another mother in Venice, CA, my old stomping grounds, who was teaching a yoga class out of her home with child care provided. Thank you Whitney!

I absolutely love being a mother. It has been the single most enriching thing I could have done with my life. My daughters are inspiring and amazing, and I am grateful for their sparkling little faces, their wisdom, their attentiveness, and all the soul touching and often hilarious things that they do that make my life shine. I am so proud of them I can hardly contain myself. I think they're positively the best people on earth. Can that be possible? I realize I'm slightly biased.

In any case, despite my absolute adoration for my daughters, I am a nasty, bitter mother (not to mention wife) if I don't get enough support. Without breaks from parenting, and some semblance of something meaningful to do out in the world, I become depressed, angry, tyrannical, and short tempered (to put it mildly). It took me a while to figure out how to balance parenting with the other things in my life with the first daughter. Then, just when I seemed to be getting it together, I went and had a second baby and promptly forgot everything I'd learned. I'm still no expert. I constantly deny myself time away from them when I need it, often putting housekeeping and work above reading a book, exercise, or taking a nap. It takes its toll. Bless you Husband.

So it occurred to me: there simply must be a place where mothers (dads, grandparents, and friends too) can go on isolated days alone with the kids. Someplace where there are people who want to play with the little monkeys...I mean cherubs...maybe even teach them something. I would pay a hefty price for this service if I could...at the same time...say... slip out of the room and do a few downward dogs next door. Maybe there would be a wonderful teacher there for me too--- a nurturing someone who knows what it's like to ride the wave of mothering for hours at a time. Someone who could guide me back to myself...my good self. I mean the patient, loving, intelligent mother with enough renewed attention to spend the rest of the afternoon creatively playing, cooking, feeding, and diapering those little wonders without wanting to scream (much). Perhaps after the class the kids will want to stay and play with the toys in the lobby for a while and I can have a cup of tea, lounge on the sofas, and chat with the other mothers.

This is what I and a couple of other brilliant women intend to create. We insist on opportunities for rest, self care, and education (for caregivers) without having to find a sitter or hit up our partners, or our parents. We want a place where the kids get to have fun too. We want a cafe with internet access and really engaging toys. We want there to be daily story-time , so we can check our email without staying up until 11PM. We want a cute little shop where we can find an organic toy for our friend's new baby and, at the same time, buy some breast pads and a thermometer. We have such big plans, and we're calling it Maitri which means being a good friend to yourself first, so that you can then offer friendship to others. Loving, kind, compassionate friendship. This blog is an outlet (and inlet) for our vision. This is for our ideas, process, challenges, and triumphs.

Here we go!